Joy and Sorrow

Got this from Kahlil Gibran.. very insightful

Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.

And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.

And how else can it be?

The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.

Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?

And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?

When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.

When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.

Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."

But I say unto you, they are inseparable.

Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.

Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.

Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.

When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.

thoughts

i missed rodyn.

for the past few weeks, it has been me, kid and ria. and paul (at times) and i couldn't complain, we always have a blast! but its different with dyndyn around. weirdly different. comfy different. and i missed that feeling.

i know i shouldn't be feeling it and its selfish for me to think that our friendship would stay as is forever. people change. priorities change. its just that i'm not expecting the change to happen this soon.

don't get me wrong. i want my friends to be happy. they deserve to be. and rodyn is, im sure. :)

i wanna...

1. bump cars

2. go to palawan

3. own the entire perry mason book collection

4. learn to play the drums

5. have a little sister

6. jump on a trampoline

7. see a rex navarrete show

8. watch wrestlemania live

9. finish all suikoden rpgs

10. live independently

11. be an organ donor

12. donate/help golden acres

13. have a PS2

 

 

my life

23...

tama ang sabi ng kaibigan ko. by the end of this year, wala na kami sa early twenties. nasa mid-twenties category na ko. anak ng!

i still feel like i haven't done anything with my life. i still regret the fact that i didn't attend my graduation. i haven't taken the GE board yet. ano ba talaga gusto ko sa buhay?

i keep asking myself that question over and over again. when i was in highschool, i thought i have my life planned to perfection. boy, was i wrong! and now, i kept on telling myself that my life today should have been better.

but only when i stopped and rethink again, i realized.. life IS better. it may not be perfect, but i am happy. and content. and satisfied. and redundant.

the worst days are yet to come. i'm not even sure if im ready for it. it was said that life is one helluva ride. but i don't need to worry. im one freakin driver!

 

 

im back!

at last! my age of depression is over. hehe!

i was afraid that some of the overdramatic crap of some people had rubbed into me. i am usually the sanest, most optimistic, most rational person i know.

its a good thing that i have such great friends. without them, i'd probably be in a rat hole right now, not to mention suffering in a loveless relationship... again.

as i have come to realize, living a romanceless life is not all that bad. i have lived most of my 23 years like it. i have been able to keep my feelings at bay. its one way of protecting myself.

but lately, i have allowed myself to become vulnerable. i became weak. and i regretted it. for the past 2 weeks, i've been ranting about being in love. because i believe i was, that i am. but believing is different from feeling. maybe this is another phase. another step closer to really being in love.

and now that i feel a bit more mature, i'm willing to wait. for a change.

i don't need to rush things. i am already complete.

 

 

mang jimmy's and cello's

this is the nth time that me, ria and kid went out, just the three of us. kid is becoming more and more one of the girls. hehe!

as for me, i couldn't stop blabbing about my crush. he's my ideal man. funny kase for the longest time i never really believed in an ideal man. less expectations mean less disappointment. alam ko its not so much of an attitude pero i always tend to protect myself from possible heartache.

enough about him...

a while ago, we were asking advises from each other.. here's mine to them:

linus: "i am proud of the man that you have become. you are such a novelty. you seldom see a man who has such respect towards women, not only as girlfriends or friends, but as persons. you would never know how glad i am that we are friends. you make us feel so special and loved."

ria: "you are the most beautiful person i've ever known. you radiate innocence and naivety that kept me believing that there are still a lot of good  in this earth." and you have to believe this because i wrote that particular line less than a year ago.

hay buhay

i feel like i've appeared to be so strong my entire life that i forfeited the right to be weak.

wala na ata akong karapatang maging mahina. kapritso na lang sakin ang kalungkutan. isang emosyong hindi maaaring maramdaman.

kung tutuusin, kasalanan ko naman talaga. hindi ako natutong umiyak. pinalabas ko na parang balewala sakin ang lahat.

balewalang namatay ang lola ko.

balewalang muntik na naghiwalay ang mga magulang ko.

balewalang hindi pa ako tunay na inhinyero.

balewalang lahat ng problema ko.

tinawanan ko lang ata ang mga bagay na yun. hinalinhinan ng yosi. konting inom.

pero sana makita nila na takot akong mag-isa. kasi pag mag-isa na ako, hindi na ko matapang. at hindi na balewala ang lahat.