he's such a gentleman...
he's thoughtful...
he's sweet...
he's protective...
he's weird and interesting...
he makes me laugh...
he dresses well...
he's never late...
he's generous...
he can be silly with me...
he makes sense...
he's always there...
he keeps me grounded...
he's everything i wanted... and more
but he doesn't count
i had difficulty taking my pop tag off of me without actually cutting it off. gusto ko pa naman siyang gawing souvenir.
i fetched kid and ria in UP coz its ria's birthday and it's worth a celebration. it took us a few minutes before finally deciding on star city. a lazy boy movie and food trip are some of our choices.
im not really excited about rides. the last time i took a ride was last year and before that, it was way back third year highschool. im scared outta my wits. i cant even force a smile.
but all went well. i actually enjoyed the rides. blizzard. zyklon loop. wild river (we got real wet. sobrang dugyot!) and yes, even the surf dance.
we went in the mummy house and gabi ng lagim. and the lion is king. and of course, videoke! hehe!
the day ended at around 10 pm coz i still have to go to work. all in all, its another fun day.
happy birthday ria! love yah!
I want to make you feel beautiful all the time. I want to make you feel the way I feel when I look at you.
i was feeling really low this morning. and i was gearing myself for a good cry, i've set my appointment with rodyn. hehe! but as usual, it didn't work out as planned. i was the one who did the consoling. its the same thing over and over again.
i met up with kid, ria, pol, dyndyn, gemma and carlo for dinner. after dinner, we went to starbucks west ave. akala ko okay na lahat. pero hindi pa rin pala.
kid has an undefined realtionship with his hunh.
rodyn, same sentiment.
is it really worth having a relationship?
at ang problema ko? nakalimutan ko na... compare to what they're going thru, my non-existent lovelife seemed nothing.
so, kumusta naman ang araw ko? or rather, weekend ko.
it was a dear friend's birthday last saturday. personally, i always considered birthdays as the most special day of the year. just consider this. it was the day you were born. the day the world was blessed by a person as amazing as you. my friend disagreed with me. (he always does) being the manic-depressive artiste that he is.
i went to the doctor, again. no x-ray results yet. no findings yet. all generic medication. grrr!
saturday was very unproductive. i think i've slept a huge chunk of the day. and still i felt so tired that evening. init kasi eh. bakit ba kasi hindi ako sa baguio pinanganak?
i came home from work yesterday to find my younger brother home. what's good about having him home is one, he can run my errands (for a price, of course), two, he just got his license and therefore, takas na ko sa pagiging driver. yey!
no pulmonogist is available even in makati med. have to check back again on tuesday.
namimiss ko na barkada ko. hope dyn's free later, gusto ko pumunta sa kanila.
wala na naman ako sa trail of thought ko..
sabagay, hindi naman ako writer.. at disorganized naman talaga ako dati pa. gusto ko lang isulat ang nararamdaman ko habang nararamdaman ko sya. o di ba, real time emotions. :)
so, umpisahan ko na? actually, hindi ko naman talaga alam kung saan mag-uumpisa. ang alam ko lang, malungkot ako. for a lack of a more precise term. nasasaktan. yun! sakto!
hindi pisikal na sakit. which, in my opinion, is worse. ang pisikal na sakit, gumagaling. minsan nagiging peklat. pero madalas na hindi. hay naku, lumalayo na naman ko sa topic. :)
dumating na ang panahon na kinakatakutan ni noel. (besh ko) na kakainin ko lahat ng sinabi ko. na magiging isa ako sa mga tinatawanan ko lang noon. dumating na ang karma ko.
bottomline is:
it hurts to know that you can never make a person happy as much as they were before they met you.
it hurts to know that they would never look at you as more than just a friend.
it hurts to know that they can give so much love, only you are not deserving enough to have it.
and you have given your all and still won't measure up to someone who has only given so little. or someone who has not given anything at all.
most of all, it hurts because you know all this and still you don't have the rationale to give up. you lose your battle. yet you're still holding on.
damned hopeful.
Got this from Kahlil Gibran.. very insightful
Your joy is your sorrow unmasked.
And the selfsame well from which your laughter rises was oftentimes filled with your tears.
And how else can it be?
The deeper that sorrow carves into your being, the more joy you can contain.
Is not the cup that hold your wine the very cup that was burned in the potter's oven?
And is not the lute that soothes your spirit, the very wood that was hollowed with knives?
When you are joyous, look deep into your heart and you shall find it is only that which has given you sorrow that is giving you joy.
When you are sorrowful look again in your heart, and you shall see that in truth you are weeping for that which has been your delight.
Some of you say, "Joy is greater than sorrow," and others say, "Nay, sorrow is the greater."
But I say unto you, they are inseparable.
Together they come, and when one sits alone with you at your board, remember that the other is asleep upon your bed.
Verily you are suspended like scales between your sorrow and your joy.
Only when you are empty are you at standstill and balanced.
When the treasure-keeper lifts you to weigh his gold and his silver, needs must your joy or your sorrow rise or fall.
