tago

one good thing about keeping my blog private, is that it IS private.

this year's one hell of a rollercoaster ride for me. professionally, intellectually, socially, and most of all, emotionally. a rumble and tumble of had-beens, what-ifs and over-and-done-with.

i have sighed a million times than last year. i fell and is still falling.

but i am strong. my bestfriend had kept me just that. ria had believed that from the beginning that it makes me believe it myself. even if my heart feels otherwise.

again, i am afraid to show im hurting. but more terrified to know that i really am. i've never been so vulnerable in my life. but yet noone have penetrated.

i hope everything becomes better. and i hope it's soon... because i'm starting to doubt who i am already...

cravings

i've been looking for Bunny Sutra for the longest time. Not only is it a TOUCH swatch, it has cute bunnies in blue briefs and pink lingerie. yes, i know, it's such a silly watch. that's why i deserve it. :)

from what i've researched, it's almost faced out; and i'm afraid it's true. :( MY LAST CHANCE: duty free. good thing my dad's coming home this november. (crossing my fingers!)

of the 5 postsecret books collection released by frank warren, "a lifetime of secrets" and "the secret lives of men and women" are the 2 that i don't have. there are none in fully booked, none in powerbooks.

but they're in my shopping cart; once i received an email and/or text that they're on stock, off i go! kebs na sa bayad sa kuryente, ilaw at bahay. hehehe!

i'm still torn on which gaming console to buy. but survey says it is best to get the xbox 360. but then again, a certain special someone prefers the playstation 3. and my brother backs him up. should i get both? i have to sell my kidney to the black market if i plan to do that. thank God for giving us 2 kidneys :p

this book kills "men are from mars, women are from venus" i read a few snippets from the book nung tumambay ako ng national bookstore. i thought i was gonna get it last year (obviously, that didn't happen).

when you think about it, pwede ko naman sya basahin so loob ng bookstore. you know the feeling for a book, ung tipong you really want to finish reading it, pero okay lang if you can't own it. that's my stand for this book. unfortunately, with my work, i rarely have time to go out. hindi ko tuloy masulit ang open reading privileges sa fully booked. *insert heavy sigh here*

i am such a huge, and i mean HUGE Perry Mason fan. unfortunately, all i have of the Perry Mason series are e-books. even bargain book shops don't have Erle Stanley Gardner's bestselling series anymore. (.. queue in "pangarap ka na lang ba?" music on the background)

oh yes, this is just heaven. a taste bud orgasm. (thanking mackie for the announcement)

so far, this is the only thing i'm sure i can satisfy myself with. it's been 3 years since the last chocolate buffet in peninsula happened. and i definitely won't let this year pass without me gorging on these chocolates. kebs sa added pounds. kebs sa diabetes.

what gets me thru the day...

aside from chocolates and my psp,

are these people....

i've known them since forever.

we've been through flag ceremonies, class projects, field trips, school elections, proms, stalking-celebrities, cutting classes, UAAP rivalry, graduation problems, boyfriends, girlfriends, ex-boyfriends, ex-girlfriends, stressful work, unsuccessful out of town plans and we still can't get enough of each other.

i trust them with my life. they can finish my sentences and man, i hate it when they are sooo right about me. and yes, they know me inside out, and they're still there. talk about pagtiyatiyaga!

*****

just when i thought i'll just breeze through my existence in PS and noone would take notice...

it's actually my whole FD family, but i have to play favorites. i just have to say that, as much hardships and stress that i have to go through to reach where i am now, it is definitely worth it. not only are they some of the smartest, most patient people i know, they are also a lot of fun. and i mean a LOT of fun.

ako si sitsiritsit

kung isa ako sa mga karakter sa Batibot, ako si Sitsiritsit. siya ung laging kasama ni Alibangbang. mga alien sila na laging nagtatanong. ganun ako eh. palatanong at madalas ligaw.

post its

I am always left with a lot in my mind but nothing in paper... so forgive me mela, for stealing your love notes, it's just that you precisely put into words my exact sentiments/ frustrations. plus the fact that i'm not really eloquent with words.

Here are two of my favorites:

Dear Future Love,

I just realized that anyone who has put up with me on a regular basis has to be crazy, even just a little bit.

That’s not necessarily a bad thing.

Sanity never made anyone happier.

~**~ 

Dear Future Love,

If there’s anything I find hard to take, it’s disappointment over a broken promise. That’s why I’m cautious about getting my hopes up. The only person I have control over is myself, so the things that depend on other people are always 50-50.

I am an optimist with low expectations. It’s a defense mechanism and it works.

I am telling you how to break my heart, hoping you won’t.

lingering thought

d'you know what i want for now, for the meantime...?

the impulsiveness, excitement, selfishness, live-for-the-moment, throw-caution-to-the-wind, total disregard, deliberateness, passion, haste and hurry spontaneity of it

KOMIKON 2008

2 years ago, i went with my best guy and gal pal. unfortunately, my other guy pal wasn't abe to make it in time. ikaw yun rodyn! hmp!

1 year ago, i went with jayjay. ang kaladkarin kong kaibigan na naisama ko pa sa wedding seminar organized by ria and sa birthday celebration ni poli.unfortunately, my digicam was out of battery. kung kelan pa, special guest nila si POL MEDINA JR.

this year, i'll make sure na wala nang palpak. i'm gonna splurge again. for Budjette Tan's TRESE, Gerry Alanguilan's 4th installment of ELMER, my old orgmate's boyfriend's BEERKADA, for Takeshi Castle and Captain Barangay Captain DVDs, para sa amoy ng pawis ng mga nagsisiksikang komik artists, para sa pakikihalubilo bilang frustrated komik book collector.. basta! pupunta ako! samahan nyo ko. =)