wala na naman ako sa trail of thought ko..
sabagay, hindi naman ako writer.. at disorganized naman talaga ako dati pa. gusto ko lang isulat ang nararamdaman ko habang nararamdaman ko sya. o di ba, real time emotions. :)
so, umpisahan ko na? actually, hindi ko naman talaga alam kung saan mag-uumpisa. ang alam ko lang, malungkot ako. for a lack of a more precise term. nasasaktan. yun! sakto!
hindi pisikal na sakit. which, in my opinion, is worse. ang pisikal na sakit, gumagaling. minsan nagiging peklat. pero madalas na hindi. hay naku, lumalayo na naman ko sa topic. :)
dumating na ang panahon na kinakatakutan ni noel. (besh ko) na kakainin ko lahat ng sinabi ko. na magiging isa ako sa mga tinatawanan ko lang noon. dumating na ang karma ko.
bottomline is:
it hurts to know that you can never make a person happy as much as they were before they met you.
it hurts to know that they would never look at you as more than just a friend.
it hurts to know that they can give so much love, only you are not deserving enough to have it.
and you have given your all and still won't measure up to someone who has only given so little. or someone who has not given anything at all.
most of all, it hurts because you know all this and still you don't have the rationale to give up. you lose your battle. yet you're still holding on.
damned hopeful.
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