crush

Back to high school mode.

 

Again, am having crushes here and there. Funny, today’s the first time I looked up the term “crush” in the ever-so-reliable Webster dictionary. And it says:

 

Crush: an intense and usually passing infatuation; to inspire with a foolish or extravagant admiration.

 

Intense. It’s a distinctive feeling you just can’t shrug off. No matter how much you tried to put your concentration where it needed to be, you cannot resist a quick glance or a shy hi.

 

Usually passing infatuation. There’s only 2 reasons why I lose interest; 1.) forced renouncement 2. i’ve gotten to know him too well.  And only 2 reasons why I don’t pursue. 1.) he has a girlfriend, 2.) he’s gay. 

 

Inspiring. One of the few reasons I wake up every darn morning is the anticipation that I will be sitting beside he-who-must-not-be-named. That I can smell him in all his fresh-out-of the-shower glory and hear his baritone bedroom voice (if there is such. i do tend to exaggerate.) I finish more work. I sing more songs. I linger. I try to look and smell good. I make more effort. Caring not if he notices or not. Ok, I do care if he notices. Actually, I pray that he notices. I pray hard.

 

Foolish or extravagant admiration. Back in college, I was a self-proclaimed stalker. I used to doodle my crush’s name on my notebook, along with it the outline why I have a crush on him in the first place. I lost a couple of hundreds in pusoy just because he’s the bangka. I almost failed my majors exam coz I stayed all night talking with Whamos over the phone. (Whamos. I miss that wacko!)

 

Looking back, admittedly, I was stupid and foolish. I felt giddy and inspired. And I enjoyed it. I wouldn't mind being foolish again. It's my personal escape when I feel like I'm stuck in a routine. It adds spice to my so called life.

 

So, to my crushes. Past, present and future. Thank you!